divine hug

mercy.

Az-Zumar (39:53)

۞ قُلْ يَـٰعِبَادِىَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا۟ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا۟ مِن رَّحْمَةِ ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ ٱلذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلْغَفُورُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ ٥٣

Say, ˹O Prophet, that Allah says, ˺ “O My servants who have exceeded the limits against their souls! Do not lose hope in Allah’s mercy, for Allah certainly forgives all sins. He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

---

on the floor,
i weep into the mat that has heard each
and every single one of my sins and tribulations.

why?
where?
who?
what?
how?

i ask myself all of these questions,
misguided.

misguided i am without you
my tears are nothing but a reflection
of my distance from you.

a reflection so blaring
a reflection so harsh
a reflection of a reflection.

in i go,
into the boat of life
and around the world I go
until my fate loops
and I find myself
weeping into your loving presence.

once.
again.

as my hands go up
to let go of a gentle prayer,
you caress my heart
and show me that this life
is indeed nothing but a mere jest.

i find no reason to worry,
for i have my Lord
for i have my belief
for i have my faith.

oh Lord,
forgive me for i have been a disgrace.

a disgrace that finds itself walking achingly
back towards you with the shattered glass of my actions
and my bleeding that acts as the consequences.

not even thinking about my actions,
you heal my bloody wounds
and my wrongdoings are nowhere to be seen.

after all that i have done
i find myself laying the same mat out,
shamefully showing my face to the Lord
that allows me to confide within.

the Lord that has not let one drop of blood
get on my clothes
or get on the mat.

the same Lord who has promised me mercy
and yet not a punishment.

thank you, Lord.

for you have given me the greatest gift of all.

the gift of a divine hug.